So for today i would have to say that the end part sucked. Deeply. The first part was kinda cool even thought im groowing more and more angry with my stupid squedual. i can never really talk to Cloud and Spazm and Paradoxism (okay name update, giving it that is kitty, shes wanted to be called that for a wile and yeah) because we are no longer in the same lunch anymore because of the messed up squeduel. And i am growing increasignly anoying with this one girl i sit with at lunch not because i want to, but because the friends i sit with sit next to her. But this week is spirit week and today was coler day and my grades coler was black. I did go all out, i looked like a total goth with lots of black eye shadow and liner and black lipstick with fishnet tights under bagy black pants and chunky black boots wich were cool. I was proboly the most into it and earnd a cople stares from people driving past my bus stop and lots of comments like, "its black day not emo day" and "lipstick" was one of my new names.
But it was relativly cool because that is the way they are and the way i am, so it dosent matter.
I got home still relativly happy. and then started my math homework, determined to figure it out and stuff, and finish it. i ended up talking 1 hour on that, so i was really iretated adnwnted to go talk to Paradoxism on Facebook becasue she had something to tell me. So i went and practiced piano for a short amount of time because that was all i was feeling for music today. i practice based on inspiration, and i went back to the main room to go on the computer, and my brother was on it, still. He had been on there for a long time, like sence we got home, he was really on my nerves tonight because he was laughing at me wile i was working on my homework. Really anoying, he always has to be in my bussness.
When i got in the room my dad was like " you need to practice more" and i had to but i was arguing and stuff, then my brother joined in and i snapped, i yelled at him "Why do you always have to get involved in my bussness." then stormed of to practice some more because i never really won that argument. After practicing more i came back, lo and behold taylor was still on the computer, so i yelled at him, still pissed at him, to get of the computer. Theni got in truble and stuff, but evaded some talkign to by going to my room. When i heard my brother at the piano i went downstairs to the computer and got a talk about how it is not good to go "flying of the wire at every little thing" and how "first impresions make a difference" and how "next year youre going to a new school and you wont get any frinds if you act like that" ugg another thing about how loosing all my friends at the begening of 7th grade was all my fault, and after it was my fault to. I kinda skimmed over that talk ignorign it because it was really anoying how they were talking down to me again, because i am a little kid who dosent understand anything. who needs adults to lead her through everithing. This is why i never tell my parent anything anymore, it ends up being my fault, no matter wat.
Then i got on to the computer and read Paradoxisms blog. She told me about how People where talking about me on the bus, and then it was a crash. Usually im able to blow stuff off like that because after all it dosent really matter, they are all stupid idiots. But tonight it hit hard, for some reason. i ended up crying for a little bit and the soundtrack of me is really sad of
Bad Day- Daniel Powter
Best of me- Daniel Powter
its like it al aded up, and it sucks. I know need to go radiate hate at sertain people tomorow. I feen depresed. Ugg, i need to cheer up. But i cant.